Last week I had the pleasure of appearing in Juvenile Court in Alexandria, Virginia with my 16-year-old son Sam and 30 other 16-year-olds and their mom or dad. We were there for the driver’s license presentation ceremony. Sam actually earned his driver’s license several months ago and has been driving legally with a paper permit. But our state requires you to appear in court to receive the official license from a judge.
The judge was very pleasant and reassured the new drivers that today is a happy day and that no harm would come to them in this courtroom…today. However, in a speech that was both uplifting and cautionary, she said this: “You’re excited at the prospect of being able to drive around without mom or dad in the car. And mom and dad are also excited at the prospect of not having to drive you wherever you want to go. But this new license confers a big responsibility too. It’s not a right; it’s a privilege that is earned and can easily be taken away from you. There are really only two messages I want to convey to you as you begin this new period of freedom in your lives: slow down and avoid distraction. Young drivers get into accidents because they drive too fast and can’t handle the car when something unexpected happens; or, they get into accidents because they are distracted by other passengers in the car, by texting, or talking on their phone. So, slow down and avoid distraction.”
I tried to follow the judge’s advice – slow down and avoid distraction – as I drove into work today. Instead of “pushing it” and exceeding the speed limit to get ahead of the next guy, I stayed within 5 mph of the posted speed limit and kept mostly to the two right travel lanes on the highway. I observed several things when I did this. First, I noticed a lot more front bumpers and headlights very close to me in my rearview mirror. Second, I saw a lot more cars passing me. Third, I arrived at the office in about the same amount of time as if I had been “pushing it” as I often do. Finally, I felt more relaxed behind the wheel.
What else might happen in our lives and in the world if we slow down and avoid distraction? Would we increase our chances of actually experiencing the meaning of the holiday we intend to celebrate at this time of year? Would we spend more time actually visiting with family and friends instead of rushing about in shopping malls looking to buy something to express to our family and friends how we feel about them? What do you think? What happens if we follow the judge’s advice? What happens if you slow down and avoid distraction?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
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Interesting that this should come up at this particular point in time. I just received the first speeding ticket of my driving career, one that has stretched nearly 50 years involving all kinds of vehicles. I was hurrying to be with my family in Illinois for a Holiday weekend. The 15 MPH wouldn't have made much difference in the arrival time.
ReplyDeleteMore importantly, slowing down our lives in a world full of distractions from our real purpose, our core values is difficult to do. However, the race to "where we are going" seems so overwhelming that the question of where we are going doesn't receive enough consideration.
The Holiday Season is traditionally a difficult time because it causes many of us to pause and reflect on where we have been, the joys and sorrows of life and where we might go from here. Perhaps embracing this pause in our busy lives will result in a bit of course correction and enrich our future.
May all my friends at IBTTA remember the joys of the past and find a renewal of their faith in the future.
the amazing thing is that we all consider doing things the way they should be done as "slowing down". Drive safely slows us down (does it? Pat arrived in the same amount of time), stopping by to say a kind word to a friend slows us down (does it? is what we want to do such urgent?), listening carefully to a comment by a person working for us slows us down (does it? Perhaps him/her is right and can prevent us a waste of time) etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteLet's turn it upside down: start from "avoid distraction", does it slow us down? Takeover of the car before us, just because we.....want to do it.... is a distraction from the main aim, or from a more serious aim, perhaps we miss that the next traffic light is red! We do have a lot of distractions, often we think we cannot keep the pace because we are after to many goals, and some of them are only ghosts of goals, not real ones.
Let me end with a comment/information: in Italy we have a so called (it is their official name) "Slow Food" initiative; the members search for good, tasty food, to be properly savored rather than gulped down, I think that judge may easily became their honorary member.
Let's savor Xmas and our dears avoiding distraction, and we will not slow down, we will travet at lightspeed
Merry Christmas and happy new year to all the bloggers
Maurizio Rotondo
A good friend of mine often says, "Hurry up and slow down so you can speed up." He is quick to explain, saying, 'You stand the most to gain by being mindful. This makes you more efficient and effective, resulting in better results faster. The sooner you take the time to slow down, the sooner better results are yours.'
ReplyDeleteIn my work I spend a lot of time with high performers. Impatience is common both as a strength and weakness. It is a strength when it yields a hunger for results, leading to expedited achievement and rapid, successful outcomes. And yet it can be a weakness leading to (a) lack of self-reflection, and (b) narrowing of attentiveness.
Self-reflection is what makes us different from most other life forms. It is our unique capacity to consider after the fact what went well, what did not, and how we want to change our behavior for better results in the future. Self-reflection makes us adept at adaptation, giving us the chance to survive and thrive as circumstances change around us - a particularly valuable quality in this day and age. Anything that threatens self-reflection is to be overcome.
The narrowing of attentiveness can screen out critical data, as in the judge's admonition, resulting in mistakes and even fatal errors.
All of this to say slowing down and avoiding distraction is a skill worth developing. Thanks, Pat, for drawing us to it.
Dear Pat, thanks for posting this interesting reflection, especially at this time of the year .. yes, let’s avoid distractions and let’s slow down or vice-versa .. I would add – at least for the Italian and the Roman car drivers – do not behave like the King of the road! You know, this is something I experience almost every day when I drive; what it really hurts me it is not (I mean not only) the excessive speed of the other drivers, but mainly the fact that they think to have all the rights to do whatever they want on the road, regardless of the existing and very clear road signs; for instance they do not indicate the intention to change lane (maybe it is very difficult to use or to move with just one finger the flashing indicators ;-), they cross over the other drivers because they have to be the first ones (most of the times the first ones to reach the edge of the closest traffic light, where then everybody has to stop!) and I could continue for hours …. This is to say that – at least in my country – it would be indeed very useful to slow down and to avoid distractions when driving, but before that it would be really fantastic for everyone to think about the existence of other people, of other drivers on the road .. moreover this lack of respect, which begins on the road, thus often affecting road safety levels, then continues in other fields of our daily life (work, business, social domains, etc. etc.) …. Even the most “apparently” respectable people or business men, or whatever, behave like the worst on the earth …. So this is one of my wishes for next year: hoping to have a little bit more of respect by the others …. Drivers …. HAPPY NEW YEAR, GREETINGS EMANUELA
ReplyDeleteI am really impressed by Pat’s story of a judge who shared her wisdom; and hopefully will not see these thirty people again! The serenity achieved by safer driving is that the primitive brain feels less likely to die and releases less adrenaline.
ReplyDeleteIn January 2005 I stopped for gas at a convenient store near my home in Orlando. I witnessed an accident where three teenage boys in a red Mustang swerved to miss a car that pulled out of the station in front of them. A truck broadsided them. One of the three boys died. While waiting for first responders to arrive, I won’t say what I saw and heard, but I can’t forget his death. A memorial stood beside the road for years, a cross with flowers and a football jersey on it.
A few years ago a study by two researchers at the University of Georgia told how parents can more effectively communicate cautionary information to teens. The technique? Tell the whole truth. The problem with telling a teenager that distraction causes accidents is that most of the time - it doesn’t. Teens can easily disprove the theory by repeatedly texting behind the wheel and getting home just fine. If you tell them the whole truth, that they could drive unsafely and NOT have an accident, your words will hold up over time no matter what they do. Now provide the rest of the truth: distracted driving is like buying a lottery ticket where the prize is death. You may be OK, but you may not. In an instant your whole world and everything you care about and love can be broken beyond repair. The unspeakable truth (forgive me, my friends)is that no one dies “instantly.” Fatal car accidents are never humane. This is to be avoided at all costs. At least 30 thousand people will die on US roads in 2011; essentially one person every 20 minutes. “Drive safely and in the next 20 minutes you will not be that person.”
Sorry for the somber tone, but I found this advice helpful and shared it with my kids. Let's have a safe, and happy, new year!